I am a student at Tawa Intermediate School in Wellington, New Zealand. I am in Room 15 and a member of the amazing Huia Syndicate. My teacher is Stephanie Thompson.

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Writing Sample

Dana Claire looked around her room, the light of the room was dim, but she still knew how to navigate around without getting herself hurt. It was 3:21pm, it just came into her mind that she has not been doing anything productive in the past several hours. She looked at her ceiling from her bed, blinked a few times and took her phone out of her left pocket, it was upside down so she flipped it the right way up. Tap, tap, tap, tap, her four digit password went and unlocked her phone. There was a bright line in the middle of her room, it was coming from her slightly open curtain. She moved her eyes so she was looking at the floor, the world seemed to be closing around her. Moving her head back to her phone and to her surprise wasn’t there. A shiver crawled up her feet and into her head. She blinked twice to see if she was hallucinating, but no, it was real, her phone vanished as quick as a camera flash.
Knock, knock, knock, went her front door.
“Dana, it’s me, Felicia.” It was a yell, but it sounded like a whisper in Dana’s room. Dana got out of her bed out her room and to the front door, she opened it and Felicia was standing right in front of her.
“I was just about to call y-” Felicia cut Dana off.
“All the cars in the neighbourhood vanished,” Felicia said. “It happened right in front of me and Laina.”
“Well, my phone vanished,” Dana said.
“I heard in the news that when scientists try to find out what’s disappearing and vanishing they keep failing because their tools vanish!” Laina shouted running towards Dana and Felicia.
“So your TV didn’t fade away?” asked Dana.
“We have no time for your knick knack questions, Dana, we have to get somewhere safe before-” Laina stopped mid sentence. Her and Felicia looked up and started backing away, Dana turned around to see nothing but open space behind her. “How am I going to explain this to my parents?” Dana said, sadness in her voice.
“Isn't your dad a scientist, Felicia?” Laina asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Maybe we can ask him,” Laina said, she sounded like she had just answered the hardest question in the world.
“Duh,” said Dana, “let’s go before our clothes fade away, I don’t want to run around town naked.”



“Are you sure he’s home, Felicia?” Dana and Laina asked in unison.
“He was here this morning,”
“He was here this morning blerg flerg,” Dana said in a weird voice which was supposed to sound like Felicia.
“Why do I even put up with these two?” Laina asked herself.
When they finally arrived to Felicia’s house the door was open, and the house was empty.
“It’s either my furniture vanished, or someone robbed my house.” Felicia said amusement in her voice. They proceeded into the kitchen, Felicia opened a small cupboard under her kitchen sink with both hands  revealing a staircase going down. “Um, is it safe?” Dana asked.
“Probably,” Felicia said.
“Do we really have to crawl down it?” Laina questioned.
“Yes,” Felicia replied.
“Crawling?”
“Yes,”
“Down a staircase?”
“Yes,”
Laina and Dana sighed while Felicia continued to crawl down the staircase. “Are you two coming? Or are you gonna wait until you vanish?”



After several minutes of pain on their hands, knees and back, they finally got to stand up and stretch. “What time is it?” Laina asked.
“None of us have a watch, so, we really don’t know.”  Dana said. The trio continued their journey to find Felicia’s father. Halfway down a dark hallway, Dana’s shoes and socks faded into the air. Their walk continued until a door blocked their path. Felicia twisted the knob and let go as she pushed the door. Felicia’s father was sitting on a chair having a drink.
“Dad? Why is everything vanishing?” Felicia asked.
“What are you talking about?” Her father replied. Seconds later his pants vanished and luckily, he was wearing shorts under them. “That’s peculiar,” he said. “that’s not what this device is supposed to be doing.”
“What is it supposed to do?” Dana asked.
“I really don’t know,”
“Can you please turn it off?” Laina begged. Dana lifted her hand to her face, it started to fade.
“Please!” Dana shouted.
“All right, allright.” Felicia’s father said. He pressed something on the device and Dana’s hand stopped fading and went back to full health.

5 comments:

  1. hi ram,
    That story is sooo awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Halfway through i was just like to myself, whats gonna happen!! :D Its such an awesome story I showed it to all my friends and they loved it too! :D

    Elizabeth
    room 5
    melville intermediate
    hamilton

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Ram,

    That is an amazing story, you had me hooked from the first word. I really didn't want it to end and it gave me the shivers.

    Lilli 8C Selwyn House

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Ram,

    What an Amazing story. I didn't want the story to end.

    Charlotte 8C Selwyn House

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Ram

    Wow your story is really good. You are a really good writer. :) :) :)

    Mya 8B Selwyn House

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey mate, great story with lots of detail! Maybe you could write a sequel, or a prequel. It's so good that I could imagine Felicia's dad's pants disappearing. Great work mate! Also I'm not fully Australian. I just like saying the word mate...mate.

    Mitchell L Room 13

    ReplyDelete

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